I spend a lot of time in my own head, bouncing around and trying to figure myself out. I don’t consider this time wasted because I’ve decided that the better I understand my own motivations, the more likely I am to understand someone else’s motivations. So, the better I understand myself, the better I can understand other people. So, when I do something and I can’t understand why, it does confuse me. I am comfortable with my ‘gut reactions’ to events and they have saved me more than not. Still, as a writer, I try to have motivations for characters so it seems weird to not have clear motivations for myself.
So, why did I turn down a free lunch on Wednesday?
It was pizza for our group at work, a ‘celebration’ of a job well done. It wasn’t for a specific achievement but was more of a general ‘thanks for staying on track’ sort of thing. I slipped in, listened to the thank you speech and slipped back out of the room, choosing to walk a couple laps around the parking lot rather than stay. I spent most of the time walking trying to decide why I was walking rather than eating. Was it the lack of accomplishment in the hour before the luncheon? The individual from another site that showed up just for the free lunch? The mishandling of the lunch order that made it late? Nothing stuck out. When I was asked what happened, I could do nothing but be honest. I don’t know.
Thursday, while at lunch ironically enough, I may have figured it out. Off handedly I said something about my blood sugar must have been low and that felt right. I was getting annoyed leading up to the lunch and it was late, although not as late as I often have lunch, it was scheduled for a specific time. Expectation and activity would have affected me. Also, as I started my walk, I slammed down a candy bar. Perhaps that is what made me feel better more than the walk.
Now I have motivation. Hooray!
11 August 2006
08 August 2006
How to go from hero to villain in Fifteen Minutes
Monday was another day of vacation for me. I made my way to West Bend around noon-time in order to search out some toys that I'd seen at Wizard World but was unwilling to pay those prices for. I see no need to pay $30 for something when there's still a chance I can find it in a store for $8.
Anyway, upon departing the store, I took a chance and called Chad. After his confusion regarding my location had been dealt with, I asked if he had eaten yet. Chad was in Eric's office and could confirm that neither of them had eaten lunch as of yet. Should I stop my and have lunch? Yes indeed.
Fifteen minutes later I was at their place of work in Jackson and was made aware of the fact that I had saved them from a lunch provided by vending machines. I was their hero. Woo-hoo!
While we stood in Chad's office preparing to leave, Eric suddenly pressed his phone to my ear, indicating that I should say hello. I figured that it was most likely his wife Katy on the other end of the phone and I figured right. My voice confused her. "Is this Eric?" she questioned. "Not exactly," was my illuminating response. We talked for a few moments and she remained puzzled the entire time. Teasingly I responded to her query of "Where is Eric?" with "Lying on the floor in a pool of blood, I just grabbed his phone."
I figured she had recognized my voice and knew it was me on the phone and I figured wrong.
Katy freaked out a little and my confused response to her concern must have triggered something in her brain. "Is this Steve?" she checked. "Yeah. You didn't know that?" She sounded pained. "No." I did my best to sound soothing. "Would you like to talk to Eric now?" I received a "Yes please" in response. I handed the phone to Eric and off he went.
Once their conversation was complete, I filled him in on her not understanding it was me when I spoke of the violence. He laughed heartily. He also noted that he would apologize to her later. I frowned. "Don't you mean I should apologize to her later?" I checked. "No," he confirmed. "You did exactly what you were supposed to do."
Hero to villain in fifteen minutes: a heel turn that WCW would be proud of.
Anyway, upon departing the store, I took a chance and called Chad. After his confusion regarding my location had been dealt with, I asked if he had eaten yet. Chad was in Eric's office and could confirm that neither of them had eaten lunch as of yet. Should I stop my and have lunch? Yes indeed.
Fifteen minutes later I was at their place of work in Jackson and was made aware of the fact that I had saved them from a lunch provided by vending machines. I was their hero. Woo-hoo!
While we stood in Chad's office preparing to leave, Eric suddenly pressed his phone to my ear, indicating that I should say hello. I figured that it was most likely his wife Katy on the other end of the phone and I figured right. My voice confused her. "Is this Eric?" she questioned. "Not exactly," was my illuminating response. We talked for a few moments and she remained puzzled the entire time. Teasingly I responded to her query of "Where is Eric?" with "Lying on the floor in a pool of blood, I just grabbed his phone."
I figured she had recognized my voice and knew it was me on the phone and I figured wrong.
Katy freaked out a little and my confused response to her concern must have triggered something in her brain. "Is this Steve?" she checked. "Yeah. You didn't know that?" She sounded pained. "No." I did my best to sound soothing. "Would you like to talk to Eric now?" I received a "Yes please" in response. I handed the phone to Eric and off he went.
Once their conversation was complete, I filled him in on her not understanding it was me when I spoke of the violence. He laughed heartily. He also noted that he would apologize to her later. I frowned. "Don't you mean I should apologize to her later?" I checked. "No," he confirmed. "You did exactly what you were supposed to do."
Hero to villain in fifteen minutes: a heel turn that WCW would be proud of.
07 August 2006
I'm a lazy sod
Ended up not returning to the con Sunday. My reasons, if you are so interested, are these: (1) it was pouring yesterday morning and I didn't want to potentially drive in the pouring rain for two hours (2) I knew I'd need to fill up on gas and suddenly decided I didn't want to do that (3) I didn't get home from Saturday's wedding fun until two Sunday morning.
Ah yes, the wedding.
My buddy TJ got married on Saturday. TJ was an intern at my workplace for about a year and while I wouldn't (shouldn't?) say we are the best of friends we get along very well for work buddies and have had a fine ol' time outside the workplace on a few occasions. I was quite honoured to be invited as he didn't invite many people from his old workplace, just myself and another buddy Mike. Mike was smart enough to bring another of our mutual friends, Callie (her blog link is to your right), along. I was not and was alone, well, alone apart from hanging out with them.
The wedding itself was interesting. The actual ceremony part, the part I generally enjoy and get misty-eyed during, was relatively brief. As it was a Catholic do, the entire ceremony ran about an hour and a quarter. It was interesting to observe but, not being Catholic, was a little creepy to be a part of it. If you are used to such things I'm sure it's much less creepy.
The reception was in downtown Milwaukee, in a ballroom at the college both TJ and his new bride Kathy had attended. We three collected at Callie's downtown apartment and took a cab over to the reception. This turned out to be an excellent decision as there was an open bar for about five hours at the reception. While you may pooh-pooh this next statement, it is my contention that I was never really sauced during this time period and therefore could have driven back and forth to the event. At the same time, I'm glad I didn't have to and that we could cab back to Callie's place to watch X-Games footage with her husband Cale for awhile before driving home. 'Ah ha!' says the observer. 'Not sauced indeed! You must have been because you danced and dancing is not something you do.' I did indeed dance. I can sorta slow dance and make it look okay if I have too do so. I did not slow dance at this wedding; I went out and got all silly to some hip-hop song. While I don't dance, I am generally willing to make a fool of myself for other people's entertainment. When I turned and saw the fascinated expression of joy on Mike and Callie's faces, I was pleased. That's all it took.
So anyway, a good time was had by all. I didn't sleep well and just didn't have the energy or motivation (despite knowing there was a Godzilla panel at the con Sunday, blast!) to return to Chicago on Sunday. Instead I sat around and wanted to take a nap but couldn't fall asleep. I'm mostly better now. I should go do stuff.
Ah yes, the wedding.
My buddy TJ got married on Saturday. TJ was an intern at my workplace for about a year and while I wouldn't (shouldn't?) say we are the best of friends we get along very well for work buddies and have had a fine ol' time outside the workplace on a few occasions. I was quite honoured to be invited as he didn't invite many people from his old workplace, just myself and another buddy Mike. Mike was smart enough to bring another of our mutual friends, Callie (her blog link is to your right), along. I was not and was alone, well, alone apart from hanging out with them.
The wedding itself was interesting. The actual ceremony part, the part I generally enjoy and get misty-eyed during, was relatively brief. As it was a Catholic do, the entire ceremony ran about an hour and a quarter. It was interesting to observe but, not being Catholic, was a little creepy to be a part of it. If you are used to such things I'm sure it's much less creepy.
The reception was in downtown Milwaukee, in a ballroom at the college both TJ and his new bride Kathy had attended. We three collected at Callie's downtown apartment and took a cab over to the reception. This turned out to be an excellent decision as there was an open bar for about five hours at the reception. While you may pooh-pooh this next statement, it is my contention that I was never really sauced during this time period and therefore could have driven back and forth to the event. At the same time, I'm glad I didn't have to and that we could cab back to Callie's place to watch X-Games footage with her husband Cale for awhile before driving home. 'Ah ha!' says the observer. 'Not sauced indeed! You must have been because you danced and dancing is not something you do.' I did indeed dance. I can sorta slow dance and make it look okay if I have too do so. I did not slow dance at this wedding; I went out and got all silly to some hip-hop song. While I don't dance, I am generally willing to make a fool of myself for other people's entertainment. When I turned and saw the fascinated expression of joy on Mike and Callie's faces, I was pleased. That's all it took.
So anyway, a good time was had by all. I didn't sleep well and just didn't have the energy or motivation (despite knowing there was a Godzilla panel at the con Sunday, blast!) to return to Chicago on Sunday. Instead I sat around and wanted to take a nap but couldn't fall asleep. I'm mostly better now. I should go do stuff.
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