She emerged from her room moaning and holding her head. Entering the suite proper she shuffled towards the expansive couch and comfy chairs, looking for sympathy. “Why does my head hurt so bad?”
The gentleman sighed, raising his eyes just enough from the crossword puzzle in the newspaper to observe her. “You are hung-over from drinking too much,” he stated. “This is why your head hurts. Are you familiar with the concepts of cause and effect?” Looking pitiful, she shook her head no, stopping only to wince. With a sigh of exasperation, he put down his pen and newspaper. “To recap, because you drink so much every night, the effect is that you wake up the next morning hung-over, forgetting that we had a conversation regarding cause and effect the day before, as well as the day before that, as well as nearly every morning since I’ve been in your employ.”
“Not every morning?” she checked, looking for a silver lining.
“Some days you do not wake until the afternoon,” he noted coolly.
She pouted. “But Matt…”
This statement was very quickly terminated by a hard look and a sharp retort from the gentleman on the couch. “Ms. Van Howell. To you my name is Mr. Psmith, the P being silent as in ptarmigan and Ptolemy. If you must insist on a certain familiarity, you may refer to me as Psmith. You have yet to earn the right to refer to me by my first name. I believe your continued hang-overs are evidence of this. Have I been clear?” She nodded. She shuddered under the coldness of his statements towards her. There was something in his British accent and deep voice that made his words feel that much sharper. “I am glad. The light breakfast you prefer has been prepared. The coffee is fresh.”
“Thank you.” A thought proceeded. “No special secret hang-over cure?”
Psmith was once again working through the crossword puzzle. “That is correct. Resolving this problem so quickly for you is retarding your progress in this regard. For you to learn, you will have to suffer so that you will understand the effects of what you are doing.”
“But I have suffered, lots of times before I hired you to help me with my issues. Can’t that count? You know I’m trying,” she pleaded. He looked up from his puzzle. She lacked the normal ammunition of her feminine wiles what with her bed scrambled hair and the smeared remains of yesterday’s makeup twisting her features. It was the hint of light in her eyes that caught his attention. At this point in the day her eyes were normally dull and lifeless but today they held some life and she used that life to plead with him. “Please Mr. Psmith?”
He returned his gaze to the puzzle. “How very wise of you to utilize my correct nomenclature. I will… consider your request.”
She smiled, brightening her expression despite her current physical state. She knew him well enough to know that this response meant yes unless she did something to change his mind. “Thank you Mr. Psmith.”
He continued with his puzzle, his pen rapidly moving over the paper as the squares were filled in. “Certainly. Go take in some breakfast it gets cold.”
She resumed her walk, heading for the kitchen. “Also, thank you for getting me home alone last night, Mr. Psmith.”
“You are quite welcome. I am glad to see you make the progress you desire in this regard.” As she entered the kitchen, he placed his pen and completed puzzle on the table before him. He rose to make the cure she had requested.
01 June 2007
27 May 2007
30 Years of Big Budget Popcorn Flicks
I suppose I spent the 30th anniversary of 'Star Wars' in an appropriate manner: I lined up for a movie. It was one of that movie's 'descendants', the latest 'Pirates of the Caribbean' movie. Short review: its a bit long but I only really noticed the length once and then things picked up so I forgot all about it being long. It's a lot of fun.
I've expressed my general disinterest in 'Star Wars' previously but must touch on it again. It's the deification of the original trilogy as some masterpiece that eludes me. 'Star Wars' was nostaglia when it was released in 1977, just like Lucas' first big film, 'American Graffiti'. It is the Flash Gordon and Buck Rogers newspaper strips come to life in ways that special effects couldn't replicate in the 1930's and 1940's. It is good old fashioned space opera, a throwback after films like '2001: a Space Odyssey'. In and of itself, none of these are bad things. I just don't understand why Lucas should be a genius because he got enough of a budget to spend some on effects.
Anyway, one of the things 'Star Wars' locked in was the big event popcorn movie. The historical epics of old were cast aside for good natured action movies that hoped you wouldn't think about them too hard. 'Jaws' started the concept and 'Star Wars' made it a trend. It is in from that mold that the 'Pirates' movies come from with big action, awesome heroes and villains and complicated plots that sometimes manage to hold together despite themselves. The third 'Pirates' movie is full of jockeying for position and each character has a plan that they're trying to make work, even if it means temporarily betraying a friend. It is quite fascinating to watch.
I may not be the first person to make this next declaration but I'll say it anyway: The 'Pirates of the Caribbean' trilogy is what the 'Star Wars' prequels wanted to be. They are densely plotted, action packed films with a central romantic story at it's heart. It's not hard to start imagining the pirate ships in space rather than water. The variation is that the effects are better in the 'Pirates' movie and there is chemistry between the romantic leads in the 'Pirates' movies. The 'Pirates' trilogy is also has the generation spanning popularity that 'Star Wars' once had as well as being immune from criticism insomuch that bad reviews will not halt people from seeing the movies.
To be fair, there are also no expectations for the 'Pirates' trilogy. It came from nowhere to be as popular as it is. The 'Star Wars' prequels had heavy expectations based on the fact that we knew where the films had to go from the evidence in the original trilogy and when they failed to meet the expectations of years of fan dissection of the original movies, the backlash became impressive.
All I know is this: during all of these movies, I always have a moment when I daydream about a big screen 'Doctor Who' movie. Perhaps I could be a space pirate in that. Oh, wait, the show already did that in 1969. Nevermind.
I've expressed my general disinterest in 'Star Wars' previously but must touch on it again. It's the deification of the original trilogy as some masterpiece that eludes me. 'Star Wars' was nostaglia when it was released in 1977, just like Lucas' first big film, 'American Graffiti'. It is the Flash Gordon and Buck Rogers newspaper strips come to life in ways that special effects couldn't replicate in the 1930's and 1940's. It is good old fashioned space opera, a throwback after films like '2001: a Space Odyssey'. In and of itself, none of these are bad things. I just don't understand why Lucas should be a genius because he got enough of a budget to spend some on effects.
Anyway, one of the things 'Star Wars' locked in was the big event popcorn movie. The historical epics of old were cast aside for good natured action movies that hoped you wouldn't think about them too hard. 'Jaws' started the concept and 'Star Wars' made it a trend. It is in from that mold that the 'Pirates' movies come from with big action, awesome heroes and villains and complicated plots that sometimes manage to hold together despite themselves. The third 'Pirates' movie is full of jockeying for position and each character has a plan that they're trying to make work, even if it means temporarily betraying a friend. It is quite fascinating to watch.
I may not be the first person to make this next declaration but I'll say it anyway: The 'Pirates of the Caribbean' trilogy is what the 'Star Wars' prequels wanted to be. They are densely plotted, action packed films with a central romantic story at it's heart. It's not hard to start imagining the pirate ships in space rather than water. The variation is that the effects are better in the 'Pirates' movie and there is chemistry between the romantic leads in the 'Pirates' movies. The 'Pirates' trilogy is also has the generation spanning popularity that 'Star Wars' once had as well as being immune from criticism insomuch that bad reviews will not halt people from seeing the movies.
To be fair, there are also no expectations for the 'Pirates' trilogy. It came from nowhere to be as popular as it is. The 'Star Wars' prequels had heavy expectations based on the fact that we knew where the films had to go from the evidence in the original trilogy and when they failed to meet the expectations of years of fan dissection of the original movies, the backlash became impressive.
All I know is this: during all of these movies, I always have a moment when I daydream about a big screen 'Doctor Who' movie. Perhaps I could be a space pirate in that. Oh, wait, the show already did that in 1969. Nevermind.
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