They spun. Her heart lept. She smiled. “And you said you were rusty,” she teased.
“I don’t believe I said any such thing,” noted her dance partner. “I said I was out of practice.”
“Isn’t that what rusty means?”
“I am not so out of practice that I qualify for ‘rusty’.”
He dipped her. His expression remained blank while hers grew brighter. “What are you like when you are in practice?” she breathed.
They rose up from the dip. “Better than this I expect.” He felt the need to change the subject and did. “I do wish you had told me of your plan for this evening. Had I known this was the expectation I would have dressed myself better.”
Janie scoffed at this concept. “Oh please. You wake up in the morning dressed better than most of the people here.”
“When have you ever seen me wake up?” he questioned.
Her expression dimmed. “Why did you have to say that? You know I didn’t mean that literally. It was just meant to be a compliment on your clothes. Tonight’s not supposed to be about my… problems.”
“Your problems are why you hired me. It is my job to be concerned with them,” he stated.
“But not tonight,” she enthused. “Tonight we’ll dance and you’ll keep me away from the bar.”
He raised an eyebrow at these words. “Really? You desire to not drink tonight?”
She nodded and smiled as her eyes watered. Rather than look at him, she found herself staring at her shoes. The sternness of his expression had softened into one that started to look pleased, almost happy. She so rarely saw him like this and knowing she was responsible for this made her heart race. While she had already provided her response to his question, she repeated it verbally to emphasis it. “Yes. Help me not drink tonight.”
“Very well.” Still staring at the ground, she could hear how his expression had further softened. It called to her mind the early days of their relationship when she had a desire to change but no ability in herself to do so. He had been so stern, so forceful, so direct in his desire to assist. The pain of withdrawal had been intense and he could very well have locked her away in her room to sweat things out. He had not done so. He had soothed. He had encouraged. He would help her in any way possible apart from letting her relapse. Through the pain of that experience she had a clear memory of him sitting at her bedside, holding her hand and smiling at her. Now they were on the dance floor, he was holding her as they danced and she just knew he was smiling at her to some degree. “I will do what I can to assist you to reach this goal.”
“I know you can do it,” she responded softly. She felt very warm. Finally she found the strength to look at him again. Her vision lacked clarity and she quickly realized it was due to the tears in her eyes. “I love you.”
22 June 2007
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