I Wrote Some 'Doctor Who' Today

I've written a lot of 'Doctor Who' fan fiction in my time. A lot. I don't so much anymore, what with my urge to get something of my own done and available. I've been sick, tired, sick and tired, or just whatever a lot in the past month or so and my creative energies have been at a low ebb during this time. In the past week they've started to revive and I've eagerly been trying to get back in the swing of things. Today when I sat down on my lunch break and had some time to write, some 'Doctor Who' came out.

It's been a couple years since the last 'Who' story I wrote and I don't think that this scene will turn into anything. It was just something I had been mulling over the past few days as part of the 'stories I tell myself' and apparently it wanted out. I felt bad at first, like I was wasting valuable time by doing this, but it was probably like stretching, getting those writing muscles loosened up with something 'easy' like the Doctor and Julie getting into trouble. It's restful and it was flowing easily until just after Two when the fire alarm went off. It was cold, windy, and raining but we were outside for a fire drill. Wonderful.

Then I get home and Elisabeth Sladen is dead at 63. Sarah Jane Smith is ripped from me like a speedily removed Band-Aid and it hurts.

I'm not trying to say that her passing had something to do with the writing I did today. The thoughts for today's scene have been in my head for a week or so already. If it was just something to do with her, then why did the Brigadier's passing not generate a similar act, as I was also specially fond of Nicholas Courtney?

Maybe because Sarah Jane is, well, Sarah Jane?

I remember watching her run on 'Doctor Who' again when I was in high school. While physically she wasn't my type at the time, being not busty and red headed, I still remember taking such a shine to her. She was fun, she was brave, she was kind, she was mean, she was so very human and lovely that it was hard not to like her. When I'd see Liz be interviewed and you'd see those elements of the character show up in her, well, it was hard to not like her too. I never got the impression that she stopped loving 'Doctor Who' for what it was and for the fact that people still loved it. Many characters or actors on 'Doctor Who' have gone in and out of fashion in fandom: the Fifth Doctor is weak and sad, until the Sixth Doctor is so crazy that the Fifth isn't so bad, and then the Seventh is Awesome!, well maybe not that awesome, etc. I don't remember a time when Sarah Jane was out of fashion. It might have happened but I don't remember it. Ever.

That's why it was so great that, when the show returned, so did Sarah Jane. She was great, the show was great, and we all got a chance for it to be great. Just to see the excitable, brave Sarah Jane again.

The singular joy I have right now is that she had to know. Many actors in that position don't get that last moment in the sun when people can express their affection for them and what they've done, certainly not from something new but Liz must have had that, over and over again as actors came to the show and said 'Sarah Jane!' and hugged her.

I didn't get that moment. I wanted it. I want it.

In Patrick's story, his girlfriend is named Sarah Jean Smith. It was always meant as a reference. The character changed so much from my original plans for her and maybe it's only now that I realize why. I couldn't just name someone that without them being spunky and brave and sweet and understanding like her.

Thank you Elisabeth Sladen. I miss you already.